This is a guest post by Francine Jay, author of “Frugillionaire: 500 Fabulous Ways to Live Richly and Save a Fortune.” Francine also offers money-saving tips and advice on her thought-provoking blog, www.Frugillionaire.com.

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In my book “FRUGILLIONAIRE,” I offer 500 tips on living a frugal, yet fabulous, life. Tip #485 is “Lower your expectations.”

It may seem odd advice in our “shoot for the stars,” “fake it ‘til you make it” society. But expectations are a powerful psychological influence over our spending; and they can, indeed, spell the difference between financial security and crushing debt.

Expectations play a particularly important role in the milestones we share with our significant other: like becoming engaged, getting married, and buying our first house. High expectations surrounding these events can be a recipe for frustration, debt, and divorce. Temper them, however, and you’ll experience the same amount of happiness–at significantly less expense.

Let’s start with the engagement. You’ve met Mr. Right, and you’re starry-eyed and love-struck. Any day now, he could drop to one knee and pop the question. The problem occurs when you have certain expectations of the rock he’ll put on your finger. Pressure to produce a 1-carat stone, or spend two months’ salary, may very well result in a fiancé with depleted savings–or worse yet, massive credit card debt. Not the best way to start off your financial relationship together! If, on the other hand, you remove the burden of expectation–by making it clear, for example, that the size of the diamond means little to you–you’ll be rewarded with a significantly richer partner.

Fast forward to the wedding. Your expectations for this day have been building since you were a little girl–they may involve a country club venue, elegant ice sculptures, and a guest list in the hundreds. But is it really worth being princess for a day, if it means taking on debt of royal proportions? Consider instead if all you expected was a simple ceremony with friends and family. You and your groom would instantly “save” tens of thousands of dollars, and start your lives on solid financial footing.

Finally, let’s consider the biggest financial transaction of your life: buying a house. Expectations here can make or break you financially. If you envision yourself throwing dinner parties in a 4000-square-foot McMansion, anything less may feel like a disappointment–leading you, perhaps, to take on risky loans and live paycheck-to-paycheck. But if you want nothing more than a roof over your head, you’d be equally delighted with a modest bungalow. In the latter case, you’d not only have a warm place to sleep; you’d sleep much easier, knowing you can comfortably make your payments, and put money in the bank.

There’s nothing wrong with dreaming big–just channel those lofty aspirations towards personal, civic, or spiritual development. When it comes to consumer-driven life events–particularly the major ones you share with your partner–lowering your expectations can put you on the path to marital, and financial, bliss.

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Note from Manisha:  Francine & I first connected when I read her WONDERFUL post, 10 Signs You Are Not As Rich As You Could Be.  Since then I’ve been following both her blog and her tweets & highly recommend you do as well!

Tough economic times have tested the vast majority of Americans – and that includes celebrities.  Lately there have been several high profile individuals from the worlds of sports, entertainment, and the arts who have seen their financial woes hit the front pages. A money meltdown is right up there with death and divorce as one of life’s most stressful experiences. So let me say straight up that my intent in highlighting these experiences is not to poke fun or make light of their situations.  Rather it is to help others by highlighting common financial pitfall that all of us (myself included) can learn from.

• NBA Star Antoine Walker – Broke & In Big Trouble: During a successful career spanning 12 years, Antoine earned over $110 million. Now it’s gone. At age 33, Antoine has creditors chasing after him and is facing felony check fraud charges.  Much has been made of his bling (the cars, watches, entourage).  However, he was also by many accounts extremely generous with friends, family and those in need.  Antoine’s problem was that he spent as if his peak earnings years would repeat every year. He’s not alone. Many people with variable incomes (commission-based sales people, entrepreneurs, etc.) fall into this trap. What we all can learn is if you have a volatile income stream, you should spend based on your average, or even trough, earnings to avoid a cash crunch when leaner times appear.

• Bestselling Mystery Novelist Patricia Cornwell – Looking for $40 Million: This prolific, smart, and highly popular writer has suffered losses estimated in the range of $40 million.  She’s suing the money management firm that handled her money, arguing they didn’t heed her instructions to “invest conservatively” and even cut checks for gifts given to people she didn’t know. Patricia’s problem was that she handed over complete control of her finances to her advisors.  As it frequently takes single-minded devotion to one’s craft to excel, the need for some delegation is understandable.  What we all can learn is when it comes to your money, your motto (to quote President Regan) should be “Trust, but verify.”  Remember, no one will ever care about your money as much as you do. So you must stay involved, even if you have an advisor

• Uber-talented photographer Annie Leibovitz – Fighting to Keep Her Home: This American icon has taken some of the most famous photos… ever.  From John Lennon & Yoko Ono (hours before he was shot) to a very pregnant (and very bare) Demi Moore, that was Annie’s work.  In the go-go years Annie’s day rate was rumored to be $250,000. Today she is $24 million in debt and is a single mom of three young children fighting to keep her home. Annie’s problem was spending liberally and borrowing aggressively against the equity in her home to make up the difference. When the credit markets seized up, she found herself in a cash flow crunch, and resorted to putting up her homes and copyrights to her lifetime work up as collateral for a loan.  Now, that collateral may be called in. What we all can learn is that debt really is a four-letter word.  Borrow at your own risk and understand that there will be consequences if you can’t pay it back.

• Famed actor Nicholas Cage – Owes Over $6 Million in Back Taxes: This super talented actor owes the IRS.  Big time.  Uncle Sam wants over $6 million in back taxes from Nicholas Cage. The vast majority stems from the $12 million-ish in income he earned in 2007 that apparently he did not pay taxes on.  Nicholas’s problem is that he appears to be cash strapped when it comes to paying those takes. What we all can learn is that if you are self-employed, as so many more of us are these days, it’s vital to set aside money for taxes at the time you earn that income.