Comments on: Are You Dating a (Financial) Deadbeat?

By: ManishaThakor

ManishaThakor — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 04:15:00 +0000

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Justin. In retrospect, I should have been much clearer about this: the idea behind checking the bill is simply to make sure that no errors were made (for example, to make sure you were given the correct bill & not another table’s or to make sure you weren’t charged for two bottles of wine if you only drank one – innocent mistakes can happen). I’ve observed that financially responsible people typically give their bills a brief glance over to make sure they are paying for what they think they are, whereas people who are more concerned about looking rich than keeping their finances on track pretend it doesn’t matter what the bill is – because they are “successful enough” to afford it. As for leasing – there’s a lot of debate on that. Again, in general, I’ve found that many people who are stretching to buy a more luxurious car than they can comfortably afford, often do so by leasing as opposed to stretching to buy it outright. rnrnIf you are earning more than you are spending, are saving for a rainy day, and paying your bills on time – then of course you are not a “deadbeat.” But you may be surprised to find out how many of your peers (men AND women) are not as financially savvy as you. That’s the point I’m making here – that outward appearance sometimes (not always) can be very different than reality (for both men and women).

By: Justin

Justin — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 03:20:00 +0000

I saw this article on Yahoo and was looking for a way to comment. What the heck kind of advice is this? nnPeter has it dead on. I’ll just add a couple of comments: You get a chance to review the bill when you sign. If it looks out of whack, you then check the rest of the bill. But checking the bill closely prior to giving over the credit card makes you look cheap. nnSome luxury car companies tilt the advantage over to leasing to keep their sales up. They artificially pump up residual values so that leasing is a great option. nnI often don’t look at the bills I pay and I lease my primary car (through one of my companies). I’m hardly a financial dead beat.

By: ManishaThakor

ManishaThakor — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 02:15:36 +0000

If you are earning more than you are spending, are saving for a rainy day, and paying your bills on time – then of course you are not a “deadbeat.” But you may be surprised to find out how many of your peers (men AND women) are not as financially savvy as you. That's the point I'm making here – that outward appearance sometimes (not always) can be very different than reality (for both men and women).

By: Justin

Justin — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 01:20:33 +0000

I saw this article on Yahoo and was looking for a way to comment. What the heck kind of advice is this?

Peter has it dead on. I'll just add a couple of comments: You get a chance to review the bill when you sign. If it looks out of whack, you then check the rest of the bill. But checking the bill closely prior to giving over the credit card makes you look cheap.

Some luxury car companies tilt the advantage over to leasing to keep their sales up. They artificially pump up residual values so that leasing is a great option.

I often don't look at the bills I pay and I lease my primary car (through one of my companies). I'm hardly a financial dead beat.

By: ManishaThakor

ManishaThakor — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 17:53:46 +0000

Hi Peter – From the deluge of VERY ANGRY emails I've gotten about this post you are not alone in your feeling about my piece! Thanks for taking time to share your thoughts.

The article was intended to more of a tongue-in-cheek piece to encourage people to think about financial compatibly as an element of a relationship (a point I clearly failed to make judging from the tone of the emails I'm receiving). And if I could write it all over again I'd start of with a huge disclaimer that men should absolutely use these same questions to assess women's financial responsibility! To address your comments:

(1) Here I was trying to highlight the fact that in a dinner rush a waiter or waitress can easily make a mistake and hand you the bill for another table or charge you for two bottles of wine when you only ordered one, so the idea is to check for innocent mistakes. In these awful economic times I'm meeting so many people that are financially traumatized to the point that they literally won't look at any bills!

(2) I was referring more to the very sad phenomenon I've seen too much of where people buy 4 or 5 bedroom homes when on their incomes a 2 or 3 bedroom is what they can afford and they literally are out of money to furnish.

(3) This was a very poorly worded attempt at trying to highlight that both men and women will have better relationships if they are not hiding things from each other financially (once they've made it pas the initial dating stage)

(4) There is so much debate on this one – my concern is when I see someone making $35,000 a year who is driving a 5 series BMW leased when really they should be in a Toyota Corolla at that income level.

(5) Glad we agree on one .

So hope that helps explain somewhat better the points I was attempting to make!

By: Peter

Peter — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 16:50:21 +0000

I'm sorry but this is the nuttiest most paranoid diatribe I've ever seen. Items 1-4 describe typical male behavior and are indicative of nothing at all other than the fact that men and women are blessedly differant. Picking up a check blindly indicates that finaces are not an issue when it comes to you. A sparsely furnished apartment -we just don't decorate- a bed a chair, a TV, a fridge and a microwave all all we really need. I'd suggest that the message would be that it's a clear pallet that a woman could some day complete, not a sign of poverty. The phone-most of my conversations are 30 seconds long and are really of little urgency. Not picking up the phone when someone else is present is a courtesy to them, not an indication of financial issues. Leasing a car-Not enough information. Leasing a car is an excellent move from a tax standpoint, depending on your situation and makes much more sense than tying up capital unnecessarily.
#5 is the only valid point you have.
I don't understand why you'd contribute new anxieties to the already difficult world of male/female relationships.